Why Is Music So Important??

Sometimes I'm so happy that Shadow understands me the way he does... after 31 1/2 hours of no sleep I was pretty messed up on Friday (yeah I know I already said that)

anyway...if I start to lose my concentration on anything I start to feel confused and irritated and I get really freaked out...
A lot of the times I can keep that kind of stuff at bay if I listen to music...
no one has understood that...

If I'm in a car...and there is no conversation happening... I have to listen to music...or I start to feel a bit perplexed... I'd say insane but then my friends would just start joking that I am... but this is serious... for the most part I can't stand silence... when I'm faced with silence I find a lyric from a song I like or the last one I heard and latch onto it... it becomes like a mantra in my mind...so that I can keep my mind occupied so that the noise doesn't start in my head that makes me feel so...enh... I have no word to describe how I feel when that happens... confused, lost, perplexed, agitated, and those don't even really describe it well...

At my very first women's weekend we had a fire walk on the saturday night... and for an hour before the ritual started we had to spend it in complete silence...no talking no music no nothing... imagine that 40 to 50 women in complete silence for an hour... to me it was fucking torture... I just kept chanting in my head...all the chants I had been learning from the weekend... I told Sugar about it after the hour was up...i went out for a smoke with her... she was the first to tell me that, that wasn't normal... I was like well thats no surprise there...LOL

I wake up in the morning... I put on my music... if I'm in the chatroom and no one is talking on the mic I have music playing... and even then if someone is talking then I have the TV going in the background here in the livingroom... and my music stays going all day long...

Music helps me cope with the everyday crap and the not so everyday crap...

I don't know why music is so important to me except that it pretty much keeps me sane...